Fun at times, and annoying at times. I mean, honestly, some of the things people do is just insane. My list of "My-Internet-Does-Not-Work-So-I-Call-In-Fucking-Immediately" list has grown to 4 people. That's 4 staggeringly stupid people whose electric cord had somehow fallen out of the socket. Must be kind of embarassing when you think about it (read: If you've got a functioning brain) and the conversation goes kinda like this:
Me: "Welcome to *censored* Support, what can I help you with?"
Customer: "My Internet doesn't work (Note the lack of greeting). It just stopped working suddenly."
Me: "I see. Could I have the social security number of the person who is written on the account?"
Customer: "You may have a customer number" (Sometimes they just do this to piss you off, I swear)
Me: "Alright, that'll do."
Customer: *gives number, ususally said in the same fashion a kid who wants candy will rush through a sentence with the hopes of getting something without putting effort into it*
Me: *finds account, usually being forced to extract the social security number from it seeing the customer gave me the account number for a telephone*
Me: "Indeed, I can see a *insert wretched connection here* account that is active. So, what exactly happens sir/ma'am when you try to connect to the Internet?"
Customer: "Nothing happens!"
Me: "Doesn't the browser open?"
Customer: "No no! It says something like, the page cannot be shown"
Me: "I see. Are you close to your equipment at present, sir/ma'am?"
Customer: "Yes."
Me: "Could you perhaps go take a look at your modem sir/ma'am?"
Customer: "And do what?"
Me: "And please tell me which diodes are on and who appear off."
Customer: *deep sigh* Fine.
This is followed by otherwise slow movement or trampling. Note that during this entire conversation, there may be kids screaming, dogs barking, cats mewing, music playing or a TV on really fucking loud volume in the background.
Customer: "I'm close to it now."
Me: "Alright! What lights are shining at present?"
Customer: *in an accusing tone* "None of them are!"
Note that some customers may, at this point, start to demand a new modem because this one is "obviously broken".
Me: "I.. see. None of them? I mean, not even the power light?"
Customer: *silence, followed by fumbling and eventually a very much confirming sounding ´click´ as a power addapter is put into the wall socket*
Customer: "The power bit wasn't in properly."
Me: "Ah, I see! Well, that should be it then!"
Customer: *either thanks me half-heartedly or hangs up*
Me: "..."
... Four times. I am going to invent something that sends a picture to customers like this. It'll be a very fitting picture, something that puzzles them and perhaps somehow reminds them of their incompetence and general rudeness.
I don't know, maybe?
Hell, I don't know.
1 comments:
Only four times? Heck, you're lucky. I love/hate the fact though when people call in like you describe, but even though you can audibly hear them plugging in the electrical socket they still refuse to admit that the fault was on their end.
I've actually had a guy call in once to ask me how to remove the plastic cover of a newly bought CD. I kid you not.
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